Treemaster Zen

The noblest vegetable.

When you look at a picture of trees, what do see?

I was inspired by a thread on to write this thread. Someone wanted to know how to find south in the dark.

A tree starts life as a flower does. Almost no consideration is given to gravity. It is planted by squirrels, rats and crows or even just falls to the ground near its parent. (And some are blown and washed away to bring fruit to a different place.)

These days in Britain, whole forests are planted by tractor with no consideration given to ideal circumstances for the individual. A trench is carved out for watering a batch of hundreds then a square is filled by the men working for the company doing the work. It is hard, repetitive work and the men are paid by the hundred or by the thousand, depending on conditions.

But the growth patterns are more or less the same.

In the beginning a seedling will grow towards the light and pay no attention to what it is going to look like nor what it is going to have to pay in compensation in its maturity for the choice of growth-site. Most land is on hills. All forest in Britain is on hills, in places where growing cattle is not profitable, in really abstruse regions of difficult to access countryside.

The tree grows and the trunk forms, taking the mass of vegetation in the wrong direction. As it gets heavier it realises that further growth thataway is going to fell it, so it leans back a mite. Next year it leans back further. Somehow it has appreciated that it was going in the wrong direction and corrected itself.

Next the branches take an interest in its development.

Initially they too grew longest towards the light. They still do. It isn’t something they can control. They were designed by god to grow fruitful and be merry. They were not told to halt for the sake of balance. The trunk has got to do that sort of thinking. Some thing -or some One has taught it how. (When the branches grow long enough they fall as fruit for the fire. The tree makes no effort to rescue them.)

Slowly, in ways that are wonderful, the trunk of the tree aims north. The tree grows with a set of beautiful sinuous curves that to a man are somewhat sexy. A man can love a forest. I am not talking about sexual deviancy but about heartfelt desire to worship nature. To love, literally love, one’s environment. It is part of the reason people become nuisances on the Internet, when they learn about glowballs.

Some lying bitch came up with the idea that we could pretend the world was warming and get people like them worked up to fury. (Maybe it is just because Margaret Thatcher reminds me so much of my wife that I hate her legacy with such a passion but the more I find out about the con, the more and more I hate her for what she has done to us.)

I have just been told to remove all my hate from this thread. That I am blaming a government for what is really our individual position on a theory and that is unfair. But it seems to me that when governments teach us lies, that is the time we should consider removing them, not removing rants about them.

The fact remains that she controlled our environment in her illegal activities against coal miners.

None the less, I shall say no more on that subject. You can find out more about that for yourselves if you just look. My critic reckons I am original enough a writer but too full of poison. The problem is that we have all been poisoned. But OK. Maybe it is too much for children like you to take in without you having a better eduction. Get one then, FOOL!

Let’s get back to the trees.

Trees are attached to the soil by fungi. They are a cladding of tubes which, like the earth they are rooted in, is founded upon nothing. We too are a tube. A doughnut of meat and bones enclosing a ring of shit. That shit goes back to the ground and is nurturing to the trees.

The soil system, with all the fungal rot it contains, dilutes our shit so the tree isn’t poisoned with too much richness. We humans get poisoned by wealth as well as lies, in case you hadn’t realised it. (Some money is necessary to oil the wheels of our lives and to put a little in reserve for the rainy days is also good for the economy and to check our balance but if your life is centred on making money, you should get out into the forests and onto the beaches of this planet and see what you are missing.

If you are deeply into looking after the environment, you may need to go the other way and make a little money while you get a recharge on the essential oils of life. And through all this, the trees are growing thick and healthy. A century passes then another. Three human lifetimes and they are mature.

An herd of trees swaying in the wind is one of the most relaxing things on the planet. They don’t move far, you will usually find they are still in more or less the same place you left them the next time you go back to them. More stalwart that any soldiers.

Trees do move, they sway logarithmically. The tops bend huge distances while the stumps barely move. There is a reason for this. The tree moves as a windmill. The upper storey has to pump it all to and from the roots to the sky. Water, air, food; up and down. And the last thing to get fed and watered is the top few twigs.

In a strong wind the aerofoil shape of the leaves twist them out of the way and the branches lose power. In winter when the winds are strong and the soil wet, there are no leaves at all on most trees. The same thing repeats in the tropics -which don’t have winters. It all happens for the same reasons. Something has told the trees about the water cycle.

And here is the odd thing, there is no such thing as a water cycle without trees. Without trees there is no seasonality. We are just learning what eradication of trees does to climate. Just in time to notice that Marga… OK not that way….

It takes hundreds of years for trees to mature. Once mature you can cut them back to the stump and replace what you stole with twigs planted in that stump and in a few years the tree is a full blown sapling once more maybe more than half a dozen of them. But cut them ALL down and burn them, then ruin the land for their production in the future and in another century the land will react so badly it will throw us off it.

Wait and see. Wait in the forest and you will see.

When the climate changed in the past and vomited the people off it they became refugees in another land. Alien residents that eventually became a part of the new culture and sooner or later became a part of its history. But what happens to the people when you remove all the trees everywhere?

Trees are as relaxing as watching the waves on a beach. The only thing that matches them is the way that a summer breeze rolls over newly grown cereal crops approaching harvest time when everything is nearly ripe yet still virginal. But the trees can relax you any time of the year. It is a trick of the rolling logarithms.


4 thoughts on “Treemaster Zen

  1. Once you are familiar with the way trees grow you can use them as a datum in the absence of a GPS system to check which way they are pointing to see what directions the under-storey is growing. Rather than race through the dark in a forest hoping to be going in the right direction, why not learn in which direction the leaves of ferns are likely to be growing. That is the stuff you are going to be hiding in, if you are on the run in some banal story book.

  2. What is the difference between a scientist and a denizen of the forest?
    A scientist would be able to perform amazingly complex experiments on the soil to see if it was nutriment rich or poor. Anyone else just interested in trees would look at the ground under the trees and see how much debris there is around them and how vibrant it is.

    In the boreal forests of the world (the places with such scientific names are usually rich in the debris of a forest) there is a wealth or tiny animals converting the leaf litter and dead branches to soil that is rich in humous and nutritious to trees. In the forests of the tropics however the growth of trees is limited by how much nutrition is in the soil. There is still plenty of life in the forests but it converts the debris almost instantly from leaf fall to soluble nutrition and fungi.

    Oddly there is very little need for dead leaves to lie on their floors. They have no snow or frost and the rains can be so heavy in the rain season that the streams produced need to be driven off immediately from the trees.

    How on god’s earth did they know that?

    Yes, there is a problem with the polar forests or Taiga but isn’t all creation crying out in misery?
    These days even boreal forests are suffering like the Arctic ones. Politicians prevent the natives from burning the understorey to make them more fertile.
    So it goes.

  3. The first Google searches on Thatcherism and the environment paints her as an hero:

    About 173,000 results (0.37 seconds)

    Including results for thatcher and the environment
    Search only for thatcherism and the environment
    Search Results

    Margaret Thatcher: How PM legitimised green concerns – BBC…/science-environment...

    British Broadcasting Corporation
    Apr 8, 2013 – Mrs Thatcher arguably did more than any major UK politician at the time to legitimise the environment as a concern at the highest level.
    Margaret Thatcher: an unlikely green hero? | John Vidal … › Environment › Climate change
    The Guardian
    Apr 9, 2013 – An artist paints a portrait of Margaret Thatcher. Her 11 years in power coincided with a decade of profound national and global environmental …
    Margaret Thatcher: A Free Market Environmentalist | PERC …
    By Iain Murray. Tracy Mehan’s account of Margaret Thatcher’s approach to the environment reminds us that this remarkable lady was both concerned and …
    Margaret Thatcher’s environmental record: She was a ……/margaret_thatcher_s_environmental_record_she_...
    Apr 8, 2013 – A chemistry major at Oxford, Thatcher was never one of those … throughout the world provided the environment is nurtured and safeguarded.
    Thatcher’s green legacy: an Iron Lady tinged with verdigris…/thatchers-green-legacy-an-iron-lady-tin…
    Apr 12, 2013 – Margaret Thatcher undoubtedly helped put environmental issues on the agenda, but her flirtation with environmentalism is more likely the …
    How Margaret Thatcher led the way on climate change – ABC…/373...
    Australian Broadcasting Corporation
    Jon Dee ABC Environment 9 Apr 2013. Margaret Thatcher … Unbeknownst to many, that person was Margaret Thatcher. As a Fellow of the Royal Society, …
    Speech to United Nations General Assembly (Global …
    Margaret Thatcher
    Nov 8, 1989 – Of course, we have learned much detail about our environment as we … My [ Michael Thatcher] grandson will grow up in a world of more than 6 …
    Margaret Thatcher – Speech on Global Environment to UN
    Video for thatcherism and the environment► 36:33► 36:33
    Sep 20, 2013 – Uploaded by NV atCEPImperial
    8 Nov 1989 – Margaret Thatcher Speech on Global Environment to United Nations General Assembly Many …
    Margaret Thatcher: The Green Lady? – RTCC…/margaret-thatcher-the-gr...
    Responding to Climate Change
    Jan 6, 2012 – As the Margaret Thatcher biopic movie The Iron Lady is released, RTCC takes a look at Maggie’s pioneering environmental views that remain …
    Speech by Margaret Thatcher to United Nations General ……/Default.aspx?...

    You would have to struggle to keep in mind that the snow job the BBC performs in its role as succubi to the United Kingdom is every bit as biassed as the garbage Rupert Murdoch puts out. Of course you realise that a machine like the Tory party is riven with liars, thieves and murderers but do you realise that firms like Google have interests that they don’t struggle very hard to keep in check?

    As with Winston Churchill, you have to win the war before you can write the history of to suit yourself. But nobody wins a war against the environment. You can pull down all the trees you like and paint the sky blue with them. It would only annoy god. I doubt many unbelievers would care about that. Or that the faithful followers are uncomplacent.

    Just an observation. You’d have to be in touch with your roots to really have a feel for what is going on. Maybe you would be better off remaining asleep. Take the blue pill. The true one. I’d like to share a revelation that I’ve had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you’re not actually mammals.
    Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is?
    A virus.
    Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. Start there. And work upward.

  4. From an attempt to comment on the first link I clicked on from the above:

    Your picture of her planting trees in foreign countries reminds me of the photo-op on Condoleesa Rice packing boxes for Michael Brown to not send to New Orleans.

    How come you never noticed that?

    It didn’t get posted of course.

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